You are getting stuuuuupid, veeeeeeerrrrryyyyy stupid...

I would have never imagnined (although I could probably expect it) that I would hit paydirt so soon. I truly wish I was making this garbage up, but alas, this is true.

Fandom obsession comes in many flavors, but there are levels of retardation. For this example, I will use magical cloud fairies as an example, but feel free to substitute any other weirder obsession:

Mildly retarded

These people are the ones who are just spending way too much time writing bad fanfiction about magical cloud fairies and drawing creepy pictures of them.

Really Retarded

These guys are the ones who go to CloudfairyCon and dress up as cloud fairies and act out their favorite episodes of "Cloudfairy FunTime Land Z."

Absolutely Ridiculously Retarded

Here is where my targets for today reside. It is one thing to draw nude pictures of cloud fairies, it is another to dress up as one and make out with fellow (gay) cloud fairy fans and it is still another to take a one-way ticket to Mindrape Town and be hypnotized to think you're a cloud fairy.

Today's target will be Hypno-fetishism, and I assure all readers that it is every bit stupid as it sounds.

In the mists of time, about 200 years ago, some guys invented hypnotism to control the minds of women for the lulz, or something like that. I'm sure someone with a psychology degree could give a better history, but I think my version is more amusing, so I'll go with that. Anyway, as time progressed, it became accredited as a useful method of therapy for the whiny or the criminally insane and became a commonly used tool of psychology, along with electric shocks or blaming your mother for all your problems. Somewhere along the line, people figured out that attention-seekers could be hypnotized to act retarded on stage for the amusement of the masses and there were many lulz.

However, at the advent of the interweb, technology made possible to hypnotize people online. This might sound like a good idea for long-distance therapy, however, it is an extremely bad idea, because the moment anything is taken over by the internet, it is immediately put to the most retarded use possible. Take Wikipedia, for instance: encyclopedias were a great invention for students to copy for their last-minute essay, but the moment they were put on the internet, it became a giant orgy of shame and obesity. The same is true here. People who are going online to be hypnotized are pretty much asking to be mindraped.

People with too much free time went and coded programs for your computer to hypnotize you, using lights and pretty sounds. So, people started making hypnotic mp3s and files (called scripts) to make all your fun time fetish fantasies come true. Now, if some nitwit wants to be hypnotized into thinking he's a wombat or something, how likely do you think it is that the people making these scripts actually want him to get what he wants? I'm thinking that it is extremely unlikely that these things are written for anything but lulz. I am sure that somewhere in the massive mindrape spectacular, there is something about giving the person money or something. For some reason I would think it would be much wiser to trust an actual professional with a shiney degree, rather than some horny teenager who wants to make you think you are his bimbo (regardless of what your gender might actually be). Seriously, look at this crap, and you will see how colossally retarded this stuff is (Note: NSFW or humanity in general). Half of it is to hypnotize you into a baby, a woman (if you are a man, which is probably the case on this site), a furry, a statue, a love slave or all of the above. I remember reading something about a file being meant to turn the listener into a catgirl and I felt physically ill. People who are that desperate to feel furry breasts should just get a fursuit or something, because comparatively it is a thousand times better than screwing with your brain to make you think you are a catgirl.

And it gets worse with the "curse" files. Some of them claim to actually transform you or someone you use the file on. Some of them even claim to be "permanent" (aka give the little brat money in order to undo the crap he pulled on you). HYPNOSIS WORKS ON THE FREAKING MIND! IT IS NOT A MAGIC SPELL THAT TURNS YOU INTO CRAP! This is pretty much where I can see all The Wotch fans ending up in their later years. I never thought I would see such an idiotic mix of all these fetishes mixed into one giant lump of failure.

I would advise all fans of this pseudo-cult to find some REAL psychologists who aren't messing with you solely for the purpose of screwing with your mind. If you want to be a catgirl or whatever, just go and pretend to be one on the internet and stop messing with your brain.

LEAVE YOUR FANDOM WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A MIND!